Hasrapzed is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, merciful walrus.

Hasrapzed created energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasrapzed, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hasrapzed, she will turn you into a mole.

Hasrapzed's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Hasrapzed's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hasrapzed.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Feed all hungry rats.

5. Do not wear silicon on your body.