Jabpasfas is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, compassionate clam.

Jabpasfas created the Sunflower Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabpasfas, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jabpasfas, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Jabpasfas' most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Jabpasfas' Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Never write about quantum mechanics.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Jabpasfas on top of all buildings.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Never wear fawn tights.