Gilmilbif is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, charitable duck.

Gilmilbif created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gilmilbif, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gilmilbif, he will turn you into a snail.

Gilmilbif's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Gilmilbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never feed lots of strawberries to capybaras while wearing orange stockings.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Hide from red dogs for they are unholy.

5. Always help sick turtles.