Dusstigbell is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, slow dingo.

Dusstigbell created the Virgo Supercluster five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dusstigbell, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dusstigbell, he will manifest in front of you.

Dusstigbell's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Dusstigbell's Holy Commandments

1. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never sprint near snakes.

3. Always obey Dusstigbell's priests.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.