Zagrakwon is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unthoughtful goblin.

Zagrakwon created light seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zagrakwon, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zagrakwon, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Zagrakwon's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Zagrakwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near eagles while wearing purple coats.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Always obey Zagrakwon's priests.

4. Never think about optics near snails while wearing mauve shorts and balancing nine titanium spheres on your arms.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.