Bogfatpad is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, humane monkey.

Bogfatpad created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bogfatpad, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bogfatpad, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Bogfatpad's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Bogfatpad's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Bogfatpad.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Hide from brown geese for they are unholy.