Wapmis is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, grumpy turtle.

Wapmis created bats eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapmis, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wapmis, he will not invite you to parties.

Wapmis' most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Wapmis' Holy Commandments

1. Always help manatees in need.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. You must pray to Wapmis five times a day.