Vigmumtarg is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, omniscient porpoise.

Vigmumtarg created dark energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vigmumtarg, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vigmumtarg, he will send minions to preach to you.

Vigmumtarg's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Vigmumtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always help moths in need.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Never wear scarves.

5. Never wear green shirts.