Vigvonkstip is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, vain cat.

Vigvonkstip created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Vigvonkstip, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vigvonkstip, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Vigvonkstip's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Vigvonkstip's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Retreat if nine dogs approach from the north.

4. Never talk about dwarf planets.

5. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.