Gemsafjamkon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, all-powerful naga.

Gemsafjamkon created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gemsafjamkon, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gemsafjamkon, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gemsafjamkon's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Gemsafjamkon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. You must never eat figs.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Put Gemsafjamkon first in all things.

5. Do not dye your hair white.