Pascatyamapp is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, uncaring fairy.

Pascatyamapp created Africa seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pascatyamapp, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Pascatyamapp, he will turn you into a mole.

Pascatyamapp's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Pascatyamapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention dogs.

2. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Pascatyamapp in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never eat spinach.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never play with disobedient children.