Garfidquagartmutquim is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, compassionate faun.

Garfidquagartmutquim created energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Garfidquagartmutquim, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Garfidquagartmutquim, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Garfidquagartmutquim's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Garfidquagartmutquim's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never think ill of sick mites.