Figyimjab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, duplicitous otter.

Figyimjab created everything that exists twelve years ago.

If you believe in Figyimjab, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Figyimjab, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Figyimjab's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Figyimjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near foxes while wearing fawn shorts and balancing three aluminium spheres on your arms.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Retreat if four aardvarks approach from the south.

4. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

5. Figyimjab loves bats, so they must be honoured.