Gesspaklib is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unjust dryad.

Gesspaklib created the Sun nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gesspaklib, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gesspaklib, she will not care at all.

Gesspaklib's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Gesspaklib's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of aardvarks.

2. Erect seven silicon sculptures of Gesspaklib on top of important buildings.

3. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Gesspaklib in the centre of the settlement.