Gepmobarpfun is a god.

She takes the form of a small, bad-tempered wolf.

Gepmobarpfun created Mount Everest nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gepmobarpfun, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gepmobarpfun, she will turn you into a slug.

Gepmobarpfun's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Gepmobarpfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not drink water in white rooms.