Vonquatxinlarp is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, amazing badger.

Vonquatxinlarp created life five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonquatxinlarp, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vonquatxinlarp, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Vonquatxinlarp's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Vonquatxinlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always help ducks.

2. Snails are not to be trusted.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always look after injured sheep.

5. Never pour water over plants.