Rillortvid is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, fussy donkey.

Rillortvid created viruses two million years ago.

If you believe in Rillortvid, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Rillortvid, she will turn you into a snail.

Rillortvid's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Rillortvid's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Never talk about dwarf planets.

4. Always wear green.

5. Always pray immersed in water.