Lakmutvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, boastful butterfly.

Lakmutvonk created tapeworms four million years ago.

If you believe in Lakmutvonk, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Lakmutvonk, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Lakmutvonk's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Lakmutvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

2. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Lakmutvonk in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Do not covet oxen.