Sogwotmet is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, benevolent ant.

Sogwotmet created the Whirlpool Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogwotmet, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Sogwotmet, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Sogwotmet's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Sogwotmet's Holy Commandments

1. Sogwotmet loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

2. Never talk about squirrels.

3. Never eat oranges.

4. Always treat birds with great respect.

5. You must pray to Sogwotmet six times a day.