Tafveendon Pithakgan is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, grumpy raccoon.

Tafveendon Pithakgan created Africa seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tafveendon Pithakgan, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tafveendon Pithakgan, it will turn you into a snail.

Tafveendon Pithakgan's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Tafveendon Pithakgan's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine eagles approach from the north.

2. Do not wear white clothing.

3. You must never eat peas.

4. Run away from fawn mice, for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink alcohol.