Cusslopgemnartdog is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, fussy dolphin.

Cusslopgemnartdog created the world nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cusslopgemnartdog, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cusslopgemnartdog, she will turn you into a slug.

Cusslopgemnartdog's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Cusslopgemnartdog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Never write about archaea.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near snails while wearing black hats and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your neck.

4. Do not skip in public.

5. Never eat corn.