Pasjinsag is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, omnipotent walrus.

Pasjinsag created time and space two million years ago.

If you believe in Pasjinsag, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Pasjinsag, he will turn you into a plant.

Pasjinsag's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Pasjinsag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always obey Pasjinsag's priests.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.