Nanlopbom is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, stupid bat.

Nanlopbom created a down quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nanlopbom, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nanlopbom, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Nanlopbom's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Nanlopbom's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four tortoises approach from the east.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Never write about spacetime.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.