Rakbelljap is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, benevolent narwhal.

Rakbelljap created a charm quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Rakbelljap, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Rakbelljap, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Rakbelljap's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Rakbelljap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near voles while wearing fawn tights and balancing five carbon spheres on your legs.

2. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never think ill of sick mites.

5. Never chant near foxes.