Vaggammig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, able finch.

Vaggammig created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vaggammig, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Vaggammig, it will curse you with boils.

Vaggammig's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Vaggammig's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near sheep.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics near aardvarks while wearing fawn hats.

5. Do not make images of living things.