Popdossfatzenren is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, merciless penguin.

Popdossfatzenren created energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Popdossfatzenren, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Popdossfatzenren, she will throw large rocks at you.

Popdossfatzenren's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Popdossfatzenren's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat turnips.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never feed apples to horses while wearing blue coats.

4. Always help porpoises in need.

5. Never bounce in holy places.