Sigwiksaw is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, moody wren.

Sigwiksaw created dark matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigwiksaw, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sigwiksaw, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Sigwiksaw's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Sigwiksaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Sigwiksaw's name in vain.

2. Never talk about special relativity near bats while wearing white shirts and balancing eight carbon spheres on your back.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always pray immersed in water.