Dogdunkin is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, sapient gorilla.

Dogdunkin created the Sol system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dogdunkin, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dogdunkin, he will turn you into a mole.

Dogdunkin's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Dogdunkin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not eat cucumbers.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. You must never eat spinach.