Danjatcisswonvadhadfumkom is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, ruthless dingo.

Danjatcisswonvadhadfumkom created the cosmos eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Danjatcisswonvadhadfumkom, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Danjatcisswonvadhadfumkom, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Danjatcisswonvadhadfumkom's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Danjatcisswonvadhadfumkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed aubergines to sheep while wearing scarves.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Danjatcisswonvadhadfumkom.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Danjatcisswonvadhadfumkom.

5. Do not keep seven ducks in a large pit.