Bonkjapqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, capable capybara.

Bonkjapqueeg created the planet Venus six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkjapqueeg, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bonkjapqueeg, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bonkjapqueeg's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Bonkjapqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat seals with great respect.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bonkjapqueeg.

3. Do not take Bonkjapqueeg's name in vain.

4. Feed all hungry monkeys.

5. Do not laugh in public.