Damceblit Komgemxem is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, omnipotent cow.

Damceblit Komgemxem created the Whirlpool Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Damceblit Komgemxem, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Damceblit Komgemxem, he will be very unhappy.

Damceblit Komgemxem's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Damceblit Komgemxem's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Worship no other gods but Damceblit Komgemxem.

3. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Damceblit Komgemxem in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always help ants in need.

5. Fast once a month.