Fligquagzig is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, merciful goblin.

Fligquagzig created oxygen eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fligquagzig, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fligquagzig, it will torture you forever.

Fligquagzig's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Fligquagzig's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Retreat if three whales approach from the south.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.