Flannulfit is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, resourceful octopus.

Flannulfit created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flannulfit, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flannulfit, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flannulfit's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Flannulfit's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Flannulfit.

2. Never bounce near great tits.

3. Never think ill of sick horses.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.