Quamstankon is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, caring bear.

Quamstankon created the Sun four million years ago.

If you believe in Quamstankon, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quamstankon, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Quamstankon's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Quamstankon's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Quamstankon in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never write about dark matter.

5. Never look at stars.