Zannakstik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, blissful donkey.

Zannakstik created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zannakstik, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zannakstik, it will turn you into a rat.

Zannakstik's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Zannakstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

2. Always wear green.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.