Nurtvinflapbotgutpang is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, fussy goat.

Nurtvinflapbotgutpang created Mount Everest two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtvinflapbotgutpang, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nurtvinflapbotgutpang, he will turn you into a goat.

Nurtvinflapbotgutpang's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Nurtvinflapbotgutpang's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Nurtvinflapbotgutpang.

2. Never mention capybaras.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.