Hunhassis is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, all-knowing grasshopper.

Hunhassis created humankind eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hunhassis, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hunhassis, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Hunhassis' most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Hunhassis' Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five tapirs approach from the north.

2. Do not keep three otters in a large pit.

3. Never feed lentils to bats while wearing magenta ear rings.

4. You must never eat peanuts.

5. Do not wear yellow clothing.