Sagvanfebflabhugtail is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, stupid bird.

Sagvanfebflabhugtail created the planet Jupiter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sagvanfebflabhugtail, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sagvanfebflabhugtail, she will think nothing of it.

Sagvanfebflabhugtail's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Sagvanfebflabhugtail's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear mauve.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Run away if five frogs approach from the south.

4. Erect a giant black sculpture of Sagvanfebflabhugtail in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always help seals in need.