Vedfomwon is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, egotistical monkey.

Vedfomwon created the Large Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vedfomwon, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vedfomwon, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Vedfomwon's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Vedfomwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Birds are not to be trusted.

4. Feed all hungry swans.

5. Pray towards the east.