Pinstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, strong porpoise.

Pinstaf created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pinstaf, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pinstaf, she will have a low opinion of you.

Pinstaf's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Pinstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Always treat badgers with great respect.

3. Pinstaf must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Erect a large gold sculpture of Pinstaf on top of all buildings.

5. Always help eagles in need.