Wikjonhig is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unthoughtful squirrel.

Wikjonhig created an up quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wikjonhig, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Wikjonhig, it will remove you from existence.

Wikjonhig's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Wikjonhig's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

5. Run away if five frogs approach from the south.