Jingilpark is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, smart fish.

Jingilpark created viruses six million years ago.

If you believe in Jingilpark, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jingilpark, he will turn you into a hamster.

Jingilpark's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Jingilpark's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jingilpark.

3. Do not keep seven snakes in a large pit.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

5. Do not eat rice.