Fasarnlarg is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, tiresome turtle.

Fasarnlarg created parasitic wasps five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fasarnlarg, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fasarnlarg, it will turn you into a tree.

Fasarnlarg's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Fasarnlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear black clothing.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Put Fasarnlarg first in all things.

5. Never talk about amino acids.