Pakponbad Vegtamarf Yaksatquaggep is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, benevolent dove.

Pakponbad Vegtamarf Yaksatquaggep created humanity eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pakponbad Vegtamarf Yaksatquaggep, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Pakponbad Vegtamarf Yaksatquaggep, she will turn you into a mouse.

Pakponbad Vegtamarf Yaksatquaggep's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Pakponbad Vegtamarf Yaksatquaggep's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat rice.

2. Never talk about bacteria.

3. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

4. Erect four titanium sculptures of Pakponbad Vegtamarf Yaksatquaggep on top of important buildings.

5. You must love Pakponbad Vegtamarf Yaksatquaggep.