Fatnurtpog is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, competent otter.

Fatnurtpog created bats three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fatnurtpog, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fatnurtpog, he will boil you in a big pot.

Fatnurtpog's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Fatnurtpog's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fatnurtpog.

2. Do not hurt cats.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not listen to music.