Quatxengep is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, all-knowing dove.

Quatxengep created humankind five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatxengep, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quatxengep, it will make you grow a tail.

Quatxengep's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Quatxengep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair blue.

2. Never sit in the presence of otters.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. You must pray to Quatxengep four times a day.

5. Gulls are not to be trusted.