Ciplambissfitjanbiftip is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unthoughtful otter.

Ciplambissfitjanbiftip created dark energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Ciplambissfitjanbiftip, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Ciplambissfitjanbiftip, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Ciplambissfitjanbiftip's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Ciplambissfitjanbiftip's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear green.

2. Ciplambissfitjanbiftip loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

3. Never think about bacteria.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Do not cook food in pots.