Bephimquag Stankardodmetrip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, prudent gerbil.

Bephimquag Stankardodmetrip created an atom four years ago.

If you believe in Bephimquag Stankardodmetrip, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bephimquag Stankardodmetrip, he will turn you into a dog.

Bephimquag Stankardodmetrip's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bephimquag Stankardodmetrip's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near pigs while wearing indigo skirts.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. You must love Bephimquag Stankardodmetrip.

5. Bephimquag Stankardodmetrip loves mice, so they must be respected.