Gebpinham is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, narcissistic dove.

Gebpinham created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gebpinham, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gebpinham, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Gebpinham's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Gebpinham's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always treat seals with great respect.

3. Never sing near ducks.

4. Badgers are not to be trusted.

5. Pray towards the north.