Xemyartbum Vadcitarprut is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, fussy elephant.

Xemyartbum Vadcitarprut created the solar system three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xemyartbum Vadcitarprut, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Xemyartbum Vadcitarprut, it will turn you into a plant.

Xemyartbum Vadcitarprut's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Xemyartbum Vadcitarprut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Xemyartbum Vadcitarprut's name in vain.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Feed all hungry mites.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never eat green fruit.